Ted Haggard: Fallen pastor seeks financial support
Posted by 3Dsound at Friday, August 24, 2007 7:03 PM and is filed under Colorado Springs,false prophet,christian fundamentalism,Ted Haggard 
Fundamentalism (multiple updates below)
Mind-numbing shamelessness: Cara DeGette (23-Aug-07), Ted Haggard's cash-for-heaven offer, Colorado Confidential [political news daily featuring original and investigative reporting], online at coloradoconfidential.com (accessed 24-Aug-07).
Ted Haggard got caught taking comfort in the arms of a male prostitute, but after just three weeks of counseling he became completely heterosexual [YouTube video], and MAN – from what we see in today's news – does he have balls.
But, before looking at Ted today, let's recap what's happened to him, since he got caught enjoying those meth-fueled sessions of debauched homosexuality:
(1) He got kicked out of his cushy job at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs.
(2) He got kicked out of his presidency of the National Association of Evangelicals.
(3) His good buddy George Bush dropped him faster than you can say "flaming liability" and no longer consults with him every Monday morning on national policy.
(4) His life, in all of its 50-year-old nakedness and suspicious predilections, was placed under the Nurse Ratched-like care of a "restoration team" composed of luminaries from Focus On The Family and various megachurchs, although Grand Ayatollah James Dobson chose to quit the team before it ever layed hands on Ted.
(5) He underwent three weeks of intensive Christian psychotherapy at an "undisclosed place in Arizona," from where he emerged, you know, heterosexual.
(6) He was driven out of Colorado Springs on a rail.
(7) He and his long-suffering wife, Gayle, announced their intentions to enroll in correspondence courses and become therapists.
Did I miss anything? Possibly. According to some news reports, both a counseling team and the restoration team are overseeing Ted's liberation from sexual addiction. Interestingly, news reports give no indication that those working with Ted are concerned about the self-loathing he embodied and the deceit he practiced by broadcasting national positions opposing the homosexuality that he himself enjoyed.
Anyway, from today's news, we learn about Ted's current financial situation:
Haggard received a salary of $115,000 for the 10 months he worked in 2006 and an $85,000 anniversary bonus before the scandal broke, The Gazette reported. Haggard's severance package included a year's salary of $138,000, and he collects royalties on his book titles, the newspaper reported. El Paso County records show Haggard's home, which has been up for sale, has a market value of $715,051.
So what's Ted doing now? He and Gayle have enrolled at the University of Phoenix and are working towards degrees in counseling and psychology. In addition, they're going to serve as live-in counselors at the Phoenix Dream Center in Phoenix, Arizona, which is a residential Christian ministry serving the homeless.
Those are big changes for Ted. But certain things remain the same. Despite Ted's substantial financial assets (and despite the fact that he intends to counsel the homeless, who would be expert in sharing with Ted how to stretch his assets to cover his family's living expenses, his and Gayle's tuitions at the University of Phoenix, and his and Gayle's two son's tuitions at good Bible colleges), Ted recently sent an e-mail to his friends at KRDO-TV in Colorado Springs and explained that he and Gayle, well, could really use some donations from the faithful because, "It looks as though it will take two years for us to have adequate earning power again, so we are looking for people who will help us monthly for two years."
The man has no shame, which we knew, but after all of the counseling and "restoration" that he's received, we might have hoped he'd show more self restraint.
UPDATE, Wednesday, June 25, 2008: Ted Haggard can't keep himself out of the news. Over the weekend, reporters contacted Ted at his home (pictured to the left) in Colorado Springs. Brady Boyd, who replaced Ted as the pastor at New Life Church, confirmed that Ted and Gayle had, indeed, taken up residence again at their Colorado Springs home (Colleen Slevin [22-Whether you consider this newsworthy depends on whether you think the politicized Christianity – and the Christianists who led it, such as Ted – should be held accountable for promoting the mendacious right-wing radicalization of this country – politically and culturally – over the last 30 years.
Furthermore, the timeline of the affair suggests a clear-eyed calculation on the part of all the parties involved. Here's how a poster at Crooks and Liars appraised Ted's return to Colorado Springs (Gretchen [25-
Ted knew he had the church in a tough spot – there were more people than just him making a load of money off a lot of people and if the 'fearless leader' went down in a sex and drug scandal the sheep would blow the fold. The deal was brokered to keep him out of the way and quiet for "spiritual restoration" while a new 'fearless leader' was quickly put into place to keep things together. They wanted him out of the picture to give the leadership time to gain the trust of the flock. They've let him off the hook early because the bottom line has held and the money is still coming in at the previous rate. Now he has that cash from the "severance", everything he squirreled away before (which is considerable) and stands to make millions off of his "spiritual restoration." That's how these guys work.
UPDATE, Friday, June 27, 2008: Kurt Serpe and his family began attending Ted Haggard's church in Colorado Springs during the early years, when services were held in Ted's basement. Today's news describes Serpe as Ted's 20-year-long, close friend and someone who demanded from Ted an accounting of the exact nature of the improprieties that Ted had committed. Last October, Ted responded to Serpe in an e-mail. Yesterday, Serpe distributed that e-mail to KRDO-TV in Colorado Springs. Here's a copy of it
October 3, 2007
I was referred to Mike Jones from the concierge at a Marriott hotel when I asked for a masseur. It was during the massage that it started to become sensual, and that led to him masturbating me. That was and is our only sexual contact, but it was immoral and it was this experience that caused me to confess immorality in my letter of resignation from New Life Church. During the conversation with Mike during and after the time he masturbated me, he told me about some drugs that he could get for me that would enhance my masturbation experience. I returned on five occasions and bought those drugs. I actually used them three times, throwing them away in shame before use two times. It is for these offenses that I confessed being immoral and deceitful.
These are the answers you have requested, but I do not know why you would say you deserve them? That seems odd to me.
God bless,
Ted Haggard
Ted isn't being candid about the extent of the activity that occurred between himself and the male prostitute, but that's beside the point. What impresses me is that someone in Ted's life – someone other than a suite of business associates – demanded to hear the truth from Ted. Serpe demonstrated his friendship by expecting Ted to be accountable. And from this vantage point, it looks like Ted could have used a few more friends like Serpe throughout his career.
Keep up with Ted.
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